THE FACADE
This was spot on! I absolutely loved loved loved James Bond movies or any spy or astronaut movie lol It must be all the cool tech and gadgets they have in them. Bond specifically was super smooth, quick witted, well dressed, and a ladies man. Everyone wants to be accepted and looked upon to save the day every single time. That appeals to our carnal self worth (Ego) and our flesh desires. In reality he was enslaved to bitterness, and a lost love due to tragedy. Tangled in a web of dysfunction (Violence, Alcohol, Sex, Gambling, and espionage).
“You can’t fix dysfunction with dysfunction. - a.k.”
In many cases I considered myself a “Black Bond” a character I embodied much like “Black Rambo” signifying how intensely and relentlessly I wanted to “kill it” in the industry as the best creative in Miami. Multiple high-profile individuals came to me and told me on many occasions that they see me at all the exclusive parties, and many if not all had my colored people serving not directing and creating. That deepened this self proclaimed identity and gave me a sense of pride and power. I literally could pull an owner or a celebrity at anytime, direct them, and send them the bill at the end of the night at a drop of a hat. That sense of control for anyone can be dangerous. Mirroring my lifestyle to 007 and the celebrities aka Actors (which the literal definition means hypocrite) I worked with knowingly and unknowingly. Alcohol, Adultery, Gambling, Rebellion, Killing (Not literal but I made it my mission to ensure other companies and individuals did not get the deals I wanted my team and I to have, going above and beyond in making sure they did not get that job, very territorial practice based on what I saw other successful figures do. Exchanging the gun with the camera. Cutting the money cuts their life support and takes away competition.) I embodied the “kill or be killed” mentality, because I was not able to process heartache and loss properly (Parents being apart due to work bothered me, Mental illness that I witnessed so close to me, the untimely loss of Marc my friend/brother for 20+ years (which I spoke to daily for years), leaving the agencies/companies that I devoted my professional career to (all my time and energy went to that company, thinking I would be a millionaire in less time than I planned to be, and separating from my Leslie not by choice due to the unhealthy outlets and lifelong struggles/disappointments that never addressed correctly. Even my schooling that I’ve come to regret because of my rebellion, leaning on my street smart hustler mentality, sooooooo I just embraced the Black Bond Or Black Rambo Or Black Zorro persona. Masking all my struggles and portraying that everything was okay and was NOT. All public knowledge stemmed from selfish decision making. After being called (daily feeling of emptiness, loneliness, shamefulness, and unhappiness that brought me to my knees in complete surrender.) out of this vice filled lifestyle I realized I was just ruining my life (No amount of alcohol, sex, parties, accolades, and especially money could purify the heart or bring true happiness). I used my mistakes and selfish feelings as a crutch not to do better and allowed it to keep me down in my bad habits. I literally gave away all my black clothes and my zorro hat because without knowing I was embodying darkness. God is a God of Light and color. He has been illuminating my mind to all truth the last 8 months. He’s filled every void I had. Wanting nothing except for others to find a the friend I’ve come to know in Jesus. [James 1:4] But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. We must be cautious what we engage our minds in. Entertainment is a distraction in order to plant (Enter) a message into your mind subconsciously. Detain (Tain) is to hold you in that dark room hypnotized from the flashing light on that screen, filling your mind with images too fast to fully process consciously but your brain documents it all and it will come out in a later date because it was rooted in a self pleasing manner. Mental (“Ment” mente is the Latin literal word for mind) the central processing unit of your being and decision making. If that is compromised then we will be making decisions that are contrary to the will of God. It all spells out: “Entertainment”. - Craig Lewis “The Truth About Hip-Hop”. We truly become what we behold with or without us knowing it. Having a closer walk with Christ gets sweeter daily. There is a boldness, strength and fearlessness you gain from communion with Him in humility. No made up character in Hollywood can not come close to that. Read Mark 16:15-18 for a glimpse of the power God gives us when we accept him completely. It will make seducing women with a few words, drinking excessively and flying a helicopter with no problem, and or dodging a billion bullets in Bond movies very strange and foolish. [Galatians 2: 20 KJV] I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live, yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the live which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.
“Coming to Christ means problems will increase. We will be persecuted. God will still see us through.
- Dwayne Lemon”
[JOHN 5:14 KJV] BEHOLD, THOU ART MADE WHOLE: SIN NO MORE, LEST A WORSE THING COME UNTO THEE.
Today I traded liquor for tea, inappropriate relations with witnessing, nude art for modesty, love of money to love of giving, and entertainment for Jesus Christ.
